McKay Coppins’ piece about the most American religion was revelatory. The whole thing was pleasant, but it was the “cultural cachet” theory that really struck me.
See here.
Well, actually, it may have been here, but either way, Coppins’ commentary on culture’s nexus with Mormonism is some of the best out there, but I can’t afford an Atlantic subscription. (It’s worth noting that I spent all three free articles last month on the first of these two links.)
Anyway, the story goes that Coppins is thrilled that we respond politely to The Book of Mormon (musical) in a pleasant enough way—with some self-deprecating humor. I felt this. I remember bragging to people about it. “See? See how nice we are? How hard to offend we are?”
And then I’m blown away. A friend of Coppins contradicts him. “Your people have absolutely zero cultural cachet.”
Let me see if I can articulate this with an example:
The kid in the local middle school gets picked on. He’s a really pleasant kid, so when he gets picked on he goes with it in good humor. He pats himself on the back and his friends all appreciate him letting them continue this way. He even starts to think that he’s doing the right-and-moral thing.
One day, however, he decides to say something.
And he learns why he really kept quiet. The grown ups don’t believe him, and the other kids pummel him. He’s left significantly worse for the wear, and goes back to the ‘go along to get along’ strategy.
I like being hard to offend. I’m a big believer in Elder Bednar’s injunction to choose not to be offended. I like being easy-to-get-along-with, too.
Bluntly, we play along to some degree because we have no other choice. If we chose not to play along, no one would care. If we said “hey, this isn’t cool” we’d get mocked harder. No one would stop. No one would care. It likely would make us worse off.
I think Coppins is right. Here’s my evidence.
The quote-tweeted tweet is about a proposed movie—a comedy—that is about the kidnapping and rape of a Mormon missionary.
I remember explaining once that our response to The Book of Mormon musical was just so genial—so easy going! So chill! So good-humored! The table of people I was sitting with gave mixed reactions. I expected something more positive.
“You do realize how racist that musical is, right?”
I hadn’t seen it. Still haven’t—and probably never will. She’d taken my stance as a defense of the musical itself. I was about to interject when someone else added on:
“You know, it’s ok to stand up for youself sometimes, right? It’s the moral thing to do.”
I think Coppins’ theory is right. Further, I think it’s good and right to ask people to treat you well (a lesson I learned from teaching 9th graders math in a troubled high school: you’re not being “cool” by letting them make fun of you.)
But how?
This is more fraught than it may seem. In the first place, there’s the problem of persecution complexes. The fact is that we are raised on stories of Lilburn Boggs and extermination orders, and that means that we have a tendency to overreact on even mild slights. I don’t want us to become flint-skinned. I don’t want us to imagine persecutions that aren’t there.
I got two rejoinders when I tried to laugh off the musical. The second hit me more at the time, the first sits with me more now. Laughing off the ridicule sets up the expectation that it’s ok—and it’s ok to do to other people.
It isn’t.
So my proposal—which may not be right—is to stop laughing it off. It’s not to overreact—in fact, I think the good nature is still imperative here. But it is to raise awareness and ask people to be sensitive. It’s to say “I’m not offended, but I think it’s right to say that this crossed a line for me.”
I’m channeling my friend Hal Boyd here. His piece in NBC News nailed it, I think.
Now, I’m hearing of Stanford doing something problematic.
Look, I don’t think that we’re the most picked on group. I have been treated really well. But I’ve noticed that it’s ok to pick on faithful Latter-day Saints in a way that it isn’t to others, and that isn’t ok. We aren’t just the subject of some light mocking, we’re the subject of overwhemingly negative coverage—from Hulu series to religious journalism.
I wouldn’t want someone else treated that way.
So today, I start quitely speaking up.